mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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