my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize