wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
