just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
