i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
