My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
