Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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