So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
