Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize