was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
