Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
