I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
