I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I intend to get homeless drunk
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
