things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Panties = found
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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