they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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