He disabled his match.com account in front of me
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Someone shattered a urinal.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
