and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
