Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
