Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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