they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize
