mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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