i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
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