Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
this hospital has no fireball
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
