I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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