i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
