omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
