i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize