Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i just had sex bonerless
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
We talked him into tasing himself.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
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