so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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