1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
