A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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