Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
