i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Sorry about my life...
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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