she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
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