Will you blow on my dice?
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
