so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
