giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
We're too hungover to prance.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
