Are we in a gay sports bar?
I just made out with a guy for $7.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize