Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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