a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
