You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
