If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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