just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
