This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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