Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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