So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I checked into jail on foursquare
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
