I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
