All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
