Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
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