"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
