Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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