I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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