He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
