yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Randomize
