my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
