wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
