I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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