How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I feel like abortions should bother me more
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Randomize
