I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
