Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
