too bad you live with your parents still
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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