Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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