Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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