Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize